1. hi i made an okcupid profile using pictures of daenerys targaryen and i talk about bears but mostly im just a dick

     

  2. yes, I want to have sex with you, but it’s… it’s more than that. It’s like, I want to have sex with you over and over and over again, multiple times a night, anywhere that doesn’t have fluorescent lighting.

     
  3. this key party is rockin

     

  4. Riddles

    I think everyone would agree, riddles are the highest, most pure form of art and super fun for all ages of human beings! Here are a few of my own updated versions:

     

    It’s been around for millions of years, but it’s no more than a month old. What is it?

    my neighbor’s newborn, whom I suspect to be the Devil reincarnated (evidence: crying at obscene hours of the night, diapers that spontaneously catch fire, etc)

     

     A man is lying drowned in a dead forest, far from water. How did this happen?

    he’s drowning in fear and self-doubt, the poor sir

     

    The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

    fiber.

     

    He who has it doesn’t tell it. He who takes it doesn’t know it. He who knows it doesn’t want it. What is it?

    nonsense. THIS IS NONSENSE.

     
  5. The Pump$, most dangerous gang on the block, that doll did a turn in county